Bob's story is just down the page.

If you clicked on the link in the newsletter hoping to see the story on Bob the neighbor cat just scroll down the page.
Thanks!

Lifestyles of the ungrateful and whiney

Today I felt like ass at work so Joel let me go home early. I figure I can at least write my blog, even if I was feeling useless in the office. Sometimes I get so jealous of rich people who can just lay around and get pampered through there whole pregnancies. But of course if I was one of those rich people I would probably complain anyway. I guess no one is ever completely satisfied with what they have. Now I will get a bunch of comments from people telling me how happy they are with their lives and how they have nothing and love it. Well I do know that I have 3 of the worlds best dogs and they are all staring at me right now and I love it. I was getting all nervous thinking about how Teddydigital and I were going to care for a newborn and 3 dogs and 1 cat and then I saw some show about a couple who had a set of twins and then had sextuplets!!!! What the eff is that!!!!! I felt like a total baby when I saw that especially when the lady said that her husband lost his job and they had no income for a year and they were fine. The universe provide all the stuff they needed and they were not complaining and acting like a bunch of candy-asses either. It made me grateful that I am only having one baby and that my dogs are pretty low maintenance in comparisons to some dogs I know.
Speaking of dogs Petunia is bugging me to let her have a myspace. I was a little apprehensive because there are a lot of creeps on myspace but I figured what the hell gotta let the dog live so keep your eye out for her and if you are some sort of creep with a sick fetish for plump cute pug/Chihuahua mixes stay away, Petunia is pure and innocent and I will cut you if you mess with her. God, I hope I am not one of those Moms that gose to jail for beating up another Mom at her kids soccer game. I guess we will just have to wait and see!

Lets take a moment to honor Bob.

Over the weekend our good and loving and special friend Bob the neighbor cat passed away. I found him in the grass under a bush, it looked like he curled up for peaceful nap and the universe decided that it was his time to go. I bet God had his eye on Bob for a while because he is such an awesome cat but God knew that Bob had work to do here on Earth. Bob was almost 18 years old when he passed away. He lived with many people in our neighborhood including Becky and Paul and Teddydigital and myself. Due to the fact that Bob would not use a litter box I made him a bed on my porch with an electric blanket to keep him warm, but on really cold nights he would sleep at Becky and Paul's or with us. In fact a few days before he died it snowed and Bob came in and was hanging out, I noticed that he seemed a little sluggish but I chalked it up to him being cold. Around 11:30pm Paul came over and picked him up to sleep at his house because Paul could leave his window open for Bob to go out and pee and at my house Bob preferred to pee on Teddydigitals sweaters. I went to bed and about 10 minutes later Teddydigital came up and said that Bob was at the family room window asking to come in, so we let him in and he got in bed with me. (We made sure there were no clothes on floor) I just looked at Bob and he started purring and then he curled up and went to sleep. He was so happy to be in the house with us and to be sleeping in bed.
We buried Bob on Saturday and we are planing a memorial service for some time this week.
We all loved Bob and when I come home from work I keep expecting to see him come running to greet me in my driveway.
Rest in peace little Bobsie we will miss you.

The day after valentines day

Today is the day after Valentines day.
Did you give your girl some candy and she looked all disapointed and bummed?
Did you give your guy a homemade coupon book for foot rubs and he looked sad because he knew that even if he gave you the coupon you would never actualy give the rub?
Yeah, I know I've been there too.
Well everyday is a clean slate and we can always start over fresh that is why I sugguest that you go ahead and give the gift of Crispy Cats.
You just can not go wrong. You can still atone for bad choice that you made.
I sugguest if you want to score big go get a mixed case of bars and tell your loved one that you had to special order it and that is why you did not have it yesterday.
By the way I don't condone lying, I am just throwing it out there.
So that is my tip for today. If you effed up don't worry now you know what to do.

Land whale

They have been keeping me way to busy here! I have been doing a ton of sales and a bunch of demos and this has left me little time to write about the goings on in this office and in my life.
For one thing I am a land whale. When people see me on the street I bet they are thinking what is that whale doing on the land? Just walking around and what not, quick someone push her back in the water before it is too late. At this point I am 25 weeks pregnat and starting to get a really big tummy. I'm really getting used to being pregnagnt and don't know what I am going to do for excuses once I am no longer pregnant. I guess at that point I can just use the baby as my excuse to wear my PJs out of the house and pretend they are pants.
Also I want to eat the entire world. Did I mention that I am a land whale?

Updates

Since I have not been able to post for awhile I thought I would update you all on what is going on.
1. If you live in the Asheville area and you want to get some free Crispy Cat samples then come to Earthfare.

I am going to be demoing there on Friday (Arden) that is this Friday and then next friday at the Westgate Earthfare from 11:30-3:30

2. Also I farted on Stu's hoodie and he got really mad. Don't worry we made up.

3. Morgan gave me a really great haircut so now I feel pretty again. If you come to Asheville or live here you should check out her vintage boutqie called Hip Replacements on Lexington ave.

4. We had a new office built into our space by Lewis who told me and Stu really crazy stories about his childhood.

5. About 10 million people made remarks about how big I am. Hey, heres a shocker...when you are pregnant you get bigger!! I know I am totaly breaking ground here but it is the truth!!
also it is very rude to make comments to a pregnant lady about how "big" she looks.

6. Valentines day is almost here so get your sweetie some yummy crispy cats. We are on sale at Earthfare all month so if you are local take advantage.

7. Tonight lost is on with the season premier and I can't wait. If you don't love lost than I think you might be suffering brain damage.

8. The spell checker is broken so pretend you don't see all the spelling errors.

If your local store dosen't carry us heres what you do...

Galle left a comment about having to smuggle the bars in from Canada. That is just a shame!!!
In the country that claims to be the land of opportunity all people should have accesses to good candy bars!! (I should run for president, I'm good)
Here is what I am going to do for the people of this country.
If you have a local health food store or co-op or whatever and you want them to carry our product and they don't just send me the name of the store and the phone number and I will give them a call. I will give them a sales call they won't soon forget! No seriously I will call them and send them samples and give them good deals to start carrying Crispy Cats.
I will do this because I love the people who love us!!
So don't be shy just e-mail me at ann@crispycatcandybars.com and I will make it happen for you!

Cat scratch fever....i thought I had it.

This morning I was huggin' my cat Mr. Big. Bigs is like the most loving and friendly cat in the world. He is a huge yellow cat, not fat just tall, sorta like a lion. Anyway one of the best things about him is that you can hold him and cuddle him and kiss him and he loves it. Its like the more attention the better, so that's why I was so surprised this morning when he tried to kill me.
I guess he didn't really try to "kill" me but he did scratch me. I was totally shocked. It was a morning like any other morning, Bigs came into my room and got my sheets all muddy with his dirty feet and then fell asleep. I came in and saw him looking so cute and started kissing him and then I cradled him in my arms like a baby. This is all very normal. Then I guess Bigs wanted to be let go of and he tried to wiggle free so I let him go because no means no right?
Then I gave him on last pet and he took a swipe and his claw got stuck in the web of my finger. I started to panic, I could feel the bacteria and cat poop seeping into my veins. I freaked out!!!
I thought for sure that me and my baby were going to be infected with this deadly virus disease thingy and then be turned into rage zombies.
I called the phone nurse and left a message. Then I looked at Bigs I asked him "WHY, WHY DID YOU DO THAT I LOVE YOU YOU CRAZY SONOFABITCH WHY YOU TRY TO KILL ME??" he just ignored me and licked his paws and his tail then fell asleep. I went to work and I googled Cat Scratch Disease and then I was really scared. I asked Stu about it he said he had it once when he was 15. Then he looked at my scratch and said he thought I was fine, after all he did work at the Harvard medical newsletter place stuffing envelopes so I know he knows something about medical stuff, I mean it practically makes him a doctor but still I was uneasy. I called Teddydigital at his office and asked him if he thought I had it. He said no and then googled it and sent me a bunch of photos of pugs and a kid with a bad cat scratch on his back. I called him again and he transferred me to this lady in accounting named Cherrie who had a cat when she was pregnant and it scratched her a bunch and her kids are fine so I felt a litttle better but not much. I called his office again later and he answered "Cat scratch fever hot line." I hung up. I asked Eric and then his brother if they thought I had it and they said no but still I was not convinced.
Eventual the phone nurse called me back and told me more than likely that it was OK. So I feel a lot better. But if I turn into a rage zombie or my baby comes out like a rage zombie than I know who to blame (Bigs!!!)

I just knew you loved to hear about poop!!

Thank you to all the awesome people who have been commenting on my blog! I love to know that I am making a difference in the world. And I love to know there are other twisted people who love talking about and laughing about the things that polite and civilized people pretend don't exist.
To answer the lady called Veganmomma....you are right...I don't know why I have a doctor for this pregnancy. Next baby will be with a mid-wife for sure. I think when it came down to it I just figured it made no difference who was going to be in the delivery room with me because I was the one who was going to have to push the baby out of my doughnut. I did not realize what a big deal it was. I do have an awesome Dr and he is really laid back, but all the bulls#$@t that is involved with going the medical route is a total racket and a complete scam. I just figured that my body would just do this thing and the Dr would just be there. But like I said I like my Dr is really nice and his wife is a mid-wife so she is who I will deal with this next time. I also want this veganmomma to tell her kids to call me at my office so I can hear there stories and write about them crapping there cute little pants. They can also just put their stories in the comments and I will promise to check more often.

To the person who wrote the comment in another language that I don't speak: please write the comments in one of the languages I do speak. Thank you.

To the person who said nice head: thanks....I know

and to the lady called Kathy, thanks for your support about rectal exams!! More ladies need to take a stand and say no to strange men putting their hands in our asses!!!!

I have said it before and I will say it again, the people who read this blog ROCK!!

Recomended reading..

Crispy Cats good friend Morgan recently sent us some little gems from a book Little Richard wrote about himself. I was going to put some quotes in here but I think it infringes on copyrite stuff and I don't think Joel feels like getting sued right now. I will re-cap some of the best ones.
He basically describes how he took a crap in a shoebox and gave it to an old lady for her birthday. He also mentions that he "did his manners" meaning took a crap in a jar and then put it in his mothers pantry next to the preserves. Brilliant. If you want more of that action or your just looking for gift ideas for the person who's got it all then I highly recommend that you get the Little Richard autobiography.

On another note Teddydigital and I found out that we are having a girl!!! I would have mentioned that first but I promised myself that I would not turn this into an obnoxious pregnancy blog because we all know that pregnancy blogs are only interesting to other pregnant ladies. But while we are on the topic of pregnancy let me say that I am totally fed up with the whole medical/doctor/hospital thing. Its all insane, fear-based bulls#@t and I am over it. I have half a mind to say F the hospital and when I go into labor just crawl under my porch and give birth in the mulch like a cat or a stray dog. All the doctors are so freaked out about getting sued that they look for any little thing that could be off and then scare the shit out of you and try and get you to do a whole bunch of unnecessary stuff only to find out that you are carrying a totally healthy perfect babe. Anyway that is all I am going to say about that.
So we are totally excited for a little girl and I am totally giving birth under my porch.