I am slowing down

As much as I don't want to admit it, I am slowing down. I thought that I might be the rare exception to the rule, that I might be the one and only pregnant lady not to have to slow down at the end of her pregnancy but at 34 weeks, I feel slow.

I'm used to having a lot of energy, I'm used to being able to do physically anything I want, I'm used to being thin and fit. I never used to watch T.V. during the day on the weekends! I would even think of laying on the couch in my PJ's ALL DAY watching episode after episode of the Sopranos, and still finding myself tired at the end of it all. As I write these words I feel the shame of being a daytime weekend T.V. watcher. Yes I am going to admit that I love the Sopranos and I love Big love and the L word and Sex in the City and that since I have rolled into this last trimester I have spent a lot of time renting and watching these shows.

It was only this week that exercise has seemed like the hardest nightmare ever. And this is coming from a true exercise lover. I have to force myself to exercise, but I still do it. The thought of being totally sedentary is to much to bear. Even if I do my exercise and then put my PJs back on and watch T.V the rest of the day at least I have done something remotely reminiscent of my former active self. I guess I should give myself more credit, I think I probably do more intentional exercise daily than most Americans. Anyway that is not the point...the point is that I have to surrender to the fact that this little lady that is living in me is calling the shots and probably will for many years to come. For a control freak like me this has been a tough but as the days fly by I am getting more and more excited for my new life. Change is always scary but this just might be the most exciting change I have ever experienced. Besides I can't wait to be a Mom. I have to savor these precious moments that I spend on the couch with Tony Soprano and Bette and Tina and Carrie Bradshaw and all 3 of Bills wives because soon I won't have time for them. They just won't be important anymore. My new concerns will not be if the Feds are watching Tony or of Mr. Big and Carrie get back together (even though we know they do) or if Nikki can stop using her credit card before she drives her family into complete finical ruins. I will be more concerned with sore nipples and how to get shit stains out of cloth diapers.