Part 1 of a disturbing story

Everyone is always saying how there is no instruction book for life or raising kids or meeting my dad, although I can't help out with the first two, I do have quite a bit of experience with the later. If unprepared, interfacing with my father could be the most traumatic experience of your life. I'm serious. It's no joke. I think to avoid feeling like my life has been in vain I should at least write a manual that could be helpful to others, to help unsuspecting fools avoid some of the pitfalls and land mines. Many of the rules of conventional society do not apply here, and some very odd rules are to be strictly adhered to at times. It's not your fault that you don't know them. It has taken me 31 years to figure them out and I still mess up sometimes. Gandhi wrote a book called My Experiments with Truth. My book is called My Experiments with My Father.

At the moment, my father is living in barn. It's a long story, but the bottom line is that his house is not yet built and he found himself without a place to live, so instead of coming to stay with me and Teddydigital in our house with plenty of room, he moved into the barn. I offered my parents my spare room but they declined, saying they didn't want to intrude and so my mother is staying with a friend because she doesn't want to live in a barn. I felt really bad thinking about my dad having to live in a barn, especially because he refuses to leave it unattended. He thinks there are bands of roving crystal meth addicts just waiting for the chance to steal his stuff. When I went over to see his new living arrangements he gave me the grand tour. he has a twin bed in the middle of the floor and a picnic table that had his computer on it and tons of other crap that was unidentifiable. He has coolers that are filled with beverages and food. He is being kept company by 3 dogs. The whole situation is so bizarre, but that's his style and I think he rather enjoys having something to guard and the possibility of getting to use his gun. I asked him if he closed the barn doors at night and his reply was "Yes, and I set a booby trap so if an intruder tries to enter, by the time the doors are opened, my guns will be blazin'." What do you even say to that except "sounds great!"

When I told my dad I was going to write a story about him he told me I was not to ever mention anyone in our family by name and no one was ever to be traced back to this blog! You would think I was writing about the Kennedy's. My father also gave me a fake name I could call him, but that's just too silly, even for me. He also said that if I wrote about him on this blog that I would find myself in the sequel to the classic Bruce Lee film Fists of Fury. He also said that anyone who woke him up before his natural alarm clock would find themselves in that movie as well.

Well, maybe people who don't want me to write about them will find themselves in the classic movie Blog of Fury. It was a total box office hit! *A laugh riot sensation* says the New York Times.

To be cont......