The people who comment on this blog ROCK!!!

I just want to give a shout out to all the peeps who commented on the blog recently!! To the gal in AZ, don't worry my husband knows I am what keeps this relationship cool and fart story's will never get old to me!! And to the person who commented on the hippie zombie post, we will always continue to give away free candy to nice people like you!


Sunday Ari had a little brunch and invited the whole office. That was very brave of him. There were a lot of people there that I didn't know so it sort of forced me to be on my best behavior. At least my better behavior, if you can even call it that. I enjoyed some delicious fruit and bagels and juice. Everyone at the brunch seemed to be very normal, meaning that everyone was polite and friendly and their clothes were clean and neat. We all had a very nice time. It really sucks that something outrageous or disgusting didn't happen because really there is nothing to write about. I guess in that sort of situation I would usually be the one to make something like that happening, but I held back, I felt a little tired and i didn't have gas:(

Another time that I held back was at my good friend Molly's mom's Seder. Molly's mom Loren invited me every year to enjoy all the Jewish holidays with their family, seeing as I lived far from my family and also because even though I'm not Jewish I like to party with Gods chosen people. At this particular Seder there were some old school relatives that I didn't know and that, I guess Molly wasn't into. They were old and a little stuffy and the conversation at the table was a little boring. Loren by the way is another person that rocks because she always made a vegetarian matzo ball soup for me and it was so good! At one point the conversation was about how these ladies were all in a book club together and they read books by Jewish authors and then got together to eat snacks, drink coffee and discuss. Molly leaned over to me and whispered " Why don't you roll the dice and get this party going. Ask if they are going to read Madonna's sex book, since now her name is Ester and she's a Jew." I considered it for a moment. It was tempting but I decided in the end that if she wanted to ruin her mothers Seder than I would support her but I would not be the one to initiate it. She understood and decided not to ask about Ester's sex book. I think that it was for the best but it would have been awesome.

Company of the year!!! Take that zombies!

Last weekend was L.E.A.F and of course we were there selling bars and sampling out candy. LEAF is this big hippie fest that happens twice a year here in the Asheville area, I would probably not go to it if I wasn't working it. To be honest I find the whole "hippie" scene around here really boring and unoriginal. I might be feeling this way because I am a little over people with all their ideas about how a company should be run approaching me at demos and events. I get harassed by the same type of person at every event. I will give you a quick overview of said person....

1. They smell horrible due to a lack of deodorant and a claim that "excessive hygiene" is not cool.
2. They want to scrutinize the new product and compare and contrast it to the old product. Thus preventing me from engaging with others and subjecting me to boring and repetitive conversations.
3. They want to villinize us for no longer making the candy bar by hand. Because they of course have never made one by hand and have no idea what is involved.
4. They want to tell me how the business should be run and they want to give suggestions that make no sense and are impossible
5. They think money is evil and anyone who wants to earn a decent and honest living is a jerk and a sell out and very unspirtual .

Perhaps I sound a little bitter but image that you are giving someone something for free and all they do is criticize it and look for what is wrong with it. All the while they are eating up more than their fair share of samples. So rude. Really people,rude. I just think that some people would rather see the company go under and have to shut down rather than expand so that even more people can have a delicious candy bar alternative. At a better price I might add. Yes we are no longer making them by hand but that means that people all over the world get to enjoy Crispy Cats! We get to show people how to eat healthy and cruelty-free and still have a candy bar. Its pretty amazing, but some can only stay stuck in their small, narrow minds that don't include change.
That's what this boils down to: CHANGE!!!!!
That is what life is about. If you can't go with change than you might as well go eat a snickers because that is all you are going to be able to buy. Thats right you heard it here first. Don't say we didn't warn you. If you decided to be a hater than you are going to have to eat snickers bars for the rest of your life insteed of yummy Crispy Cats.

Here is the bottom line. We just won company of the year from Vegnews!!! I found this out as I was writing this blog and that is the best news I have had all day! So that is all I am going to tell those hippie zombies the next time they start harassing me about the bars being made in Canada!! By the way, why is everyone hating on Canada?? That is one awesome country! First off I would like to mention that we were unable to find a local place that would uphold our strict vegan and gluten-free, kosher standards so we were forced to find it elsewhere! AND all those people are always saying how effed up this country is and blah blah blah so you would think they would be stoked that we would make our candy in such a peaceful friendly country. Of course they are upset because its cool to only want to buy things that are local, even though we are technically a local company and by the way we are the company of the YEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I invite everyone to tell me what you think. I would love to hear what people think about what they just read. If you have a problem with Canada I want to hear about it, and then I want to tell you how douchy you are because Canada rocks!
If you would rather us go out of business but still make the bars by hand let me know and I will train you in how to make them and you can come over and do it till your hands fall off.
I know this all may sound a little angry but I get sick of being attacked by zombie hippies at every event I go to, especially since all I'm trying to do is give people free candy.

I have an exciting life.

Here is an account of what happened this morning on my drive to work.



I am an animal lover. Meaning that I LOVE ANIMALS, a lot and sometimes (all the time) more than people. I guess I 'm not talking about the people in my lives really, but if you give me a choice between a random person at the mall or a, lets say a cockatoo or a pug, I choose the pug and the cockatool. Actually if given the choice to hang out with a pug or a member of my family, I choose the pug. I would also like to mention that I don't have a pug fixation. I do love pugs but I don't have one, I live with a chug. Petunia is a chichwawa pug mix, hence a chug. I also live with Inky an aging 1olb killing machine, he is a terrier mix and with Otto a 5 year old golden retriever that Teddydigital and I rescued last year. Mr.Big is the cat, I can't say that I "have" a cat because we all know cats don't play that. But he lives in our house and eats the food I put out for him and sleeps in the bed provided for him. I love him and he is the nicest cat one could ever hope to meet. Then there is Bob. Bob is 17 years old and he is a cat that just lives in our neighborhood but he loves to sleep over at my house with Bigs so I consider him one of the crew.



As I was driving to work I saw a young golden retriever hanging on the side of the road with some construction workers. I immediately knew who he was. He lives a few streets over from me and he is forever slipping out of his fence. Once he was out and hidding in the bushes and jumping out on cars and I pulled over and put him back in his yard. Another time I was running with Otto and he started running with us. I corralled him back into his yard and about 4/10ths of a mile later turned around to see him running behind me. I ran him home and tried to see if his owners were home but no one was. So this morning I put my hazards on a called him over to my car. He seemed happy to see me, but had no interest in going into my car. When I got out of my car he ran into the street, then stoped and moseyed around sniffing the pavement while cars came shrieking to a halt honking horns at him. he acted like he didn't even notice the commotion he was causing and instead ran back overt to the construction workers and acted like he was with them.
I wasn't sure what to do because he would not get in my car and I was in the middle of the road. I tried to tell myself that he would be ok with the construction workers and I started to drive away. I knew in my heart that I could not just let him be, I had to do something. I pulled my car down the street and figured I would just get out and walk him home, but when I looked I saw him running down the street after a dachshund I knew I had to go after him. Not to mention that I have morning sickness as well so really I just wanted to puke on him.
I ran to the car and raced down the street and pulled in on a side street that wasn't very busy and lured him over. He came running over and seemed to have forgotten that just moments earlier had tried to lure him into my car. When I tried to hoist him up he collapsed himself , like a passive resistance type of thing and just stared up at me blankly while I held him in my arms. This is a golden retriever by the way, a hefty breed to say the least. Now a crowd was starting to gather because it looked like I hit him with my car and was cradling him in my arms when really I was begging him to just let me put him in my car. Finial after a bunch of people offered to pick him up I just said enough and hoisted him up and tossed him in the car. I drove him back to his house and he jumped back in the fence. His people were not home so I just gave him a stern waring and went to work.
My life is really exciting. More exciting than Chuck Norris even.

foux pas are funny

The last night of trade show the company got invited out to have dinner at a hip vegetarian cafe in Baltimore. Some people in high places took a liking to the company and we felt honored to have been included. It had been a long 5 days already and I was pooped, not to mention sick and tired. I can't tell you why I was sick and tired, its a secret, I can tell you in a few weeks. So stop asking already! Anyway, I also had terrible gas. Really bad. I mean so bad that the day before I accidentally let one slip and it smelled so bad that Eric jumped out of our mini-van and walked back to the hotel.



It's really not my fault. I did purposely gas out Ari one night when we were driving back to our hotel though. Ari and I had custody of the mini-van seeing as we were very far from the convention center. Now, I don't mind driving but I'm used to Teddydigital doing all the driving, partly because he's a nice guy and partly because my driving scares him. So when Ari decided to get bombed, I was forced to drive. It made me a little mad because I was tired and n0t in the mood to drive, but I had no choice if I wanted to get back to my hotel so I could hear that dog barking in the projects across the street all night long. So I drove, and all the while Ari slurred "I don't drwink, I donnn dwrink" . I felt the raging furry in my bowels and just knew that it had to come out. So I rolled up the windows and then locked them ,as the worst smell in the world hit us both. Ari screamed and wailed but to no avail I would not roll down the window. Then I did it twice more. It sounds really harsh but it was well deserved.



At dinner, unfortunately was when my gas back fired on me. Normally I have control over my bowels but for many reasons this time I did not. For one I was tired and for two I had spent many days trying to hold in farts while at the trade show. So combine being tired with being hungry and with the fact that I had exerted a rather large amount of energy over the past four days holding farts in. Now picture me at dinner with the whos who of the natural food industry and I am a little tired and cranky and a little gassy.

At first the dinner was going slow and I feeling a little under stimulated. I really didn't know anyone except the people who I work with and it was crowded and a little hard to hear. Ari was on my left and Eric was on my right. Then Lelia and her friend Dean showed up and the party started to get rollin'. I started having a lot of fun talking with Dean and Lelia. Then before I knew it I had a little tofu in my belly and I was shouting and laughing and telling stories. That's when it happened. It just slipped out and I really didn't realize it until it was too late. I was carrying on and having to much fun to tell that one had snuck out and it was not until the retched smell hit the air that I started to panic. The smell was reported later as the worst one yet and it hit Ari and Eric hard. They both lept up at the same time from the table with their shirts over their noses and tried to run. Fearful that if they left it would be obvious that it was I who lay the fart I started clutching at Eric. I griped his shirt as I pleaded with my eyes not to run, but he could not handle it and he broke free from my death grip and ran to the safety of the bar. There I sat, alone with the smell and across from me sat all the big wigs and my boss Joel. Everyone was doing the polite thing and pretending not to smell the most putrid smell they may have ever smelled. I on the other hand was in peals of laughter, I don't know why because it only further proved I was the guilty party but I just could not stop laughing! Joel look at me from across the table and shrugged his shoulders " Oh well." was all he could muster up. I 'm sure he was very close to passing out and may have been in a fart induced delirium. Ari and Eric got drunk at the bar while waiting for the storm to pass. Ari said that it was so bad he didn't even think we could be friends anymore. When I heard that it brought back the hysterical fit I had been in earlier. I immediately called Teddydigital to tell him the story.

This is my favorite Crispy Cat story to date.

A response to the comment left on "Line Hijinks"

I would like to respond to the comment left on "Line Hijinks"

The comment was totally lost on me. First of all that little story was not my "take on the trade show experience" it was half of a little vignette I was writing about Ari. And for the record I went around and asked many vendors for many samples and I also was a vendor who got asked for many samples and gladly handed them out. So that is that. However I am happy that someone commented on the blog.

Now on to the rest of my story.
I don't remember the rest of my story anymore.

Trade show hijinks......

Ari was my hotel buddie during the trade show. Meaning we stayed in the same gross, busted hotel on one side of town while Eric and Joel stayed at a beautiful clean hotel on the other non-getto side of town. It was OK because I delighted so much in watching Ari hate our hotel that it totaly made up fpr the fact that we were in a hotel that had a greyhound bus sataion and travel staion attachted to it. As we suveyed the "work out room" Ari kept saying "We will surive, we will survive" but what he was really saying was "I hope I survive whatever diseases I get from this place." its not like we were going to war and it was possible that we were'nt going to survive, we were just working out on outdated gym equipment.

Don't cry I will be back soon.

If you are a loyal reader and you love me please don't cry when you read the following news....I will be at Expo East until next Tuesday!

So there will be no new blogs until then, unless I get to a computer while I am on the road. Call Ari and tell him to buy me a lap top. Just call him and bother him I do it all the time. Ari is the CFO of this place so if you need a loan or a ride to work or something just give him a call.

He also looks a lot like Joel, just with out the tattoos. So, sometimes it's confusing, especially if my bangs have fallen in my face or something and I am seeing him out of the corner of my eye.

My point is that he is the money person around here so if you feel outraged about the fact that I can't do my blog, than don't come cryin' to me, call Ari.

Anyway, bye, I 'll miss you.
If my dogs are reading this then Inky, Petunia and Otto I will miss you guys and I love you!!
If my cats are reading this then Mr. Big I will miss you and I love you.
If my husband is reading this than Teddydigital I will miss you and I love you.
And if Bob the neighbor cat is reading this than Bob I will miss you and I love you.

Line hijinks

Recently Mary told me about an experience she had in a local coffee shop, it was horrifying.

Whilst waiting in line , a practice that Mary hates, she learned something new.



A small girl was thirsty and wanting her mother to buy her a bottle of water. The little girl said "Mommy, I want a bottle of water" and the mommy said " Oh, you mean earth juice? You want mommy to get you a bottle of earth juice?" Mary was aghast. The incident was described as embarrassing and uncomfortable, and what falls into the category, according to Mary as line hijinkss. I was intrigued, what I wondered is line hijinkss? Line hijinkss are all the things that people do while waiting in line that are inconvenient and/or annoying and obnoxious to others. I have been guilty of line hijinks many, many times. Some of my biggest offenses have been....

• Paying for things in change and taking a long time to count my pennies


• Spacing out on a long line instead of figuring out what I want to order and then debating out loud what I should get.


• Having a tickle fight with Teddydigital and encroaching on the space of others.


• Dropping my bag and having the contents spill all over the floor, usually reveling personal items that make others uncomfortable; such as but not limited too, pamphlets on chronic constipation and personal lubricants


• Starting up conversations with strangers just to pass time, usually when its obviously they don't want to forge a new friendship.

Those are the line hijinks's I have been guilty of and will admit to. One line hijink that is totally unforgivable is the person that stands in a line and just farts. Just farts and acts like they have no idea that a horrible smell is invading everyones face and making them want to simultaneously puke and punch someone.

If you have other forms of line hijinks that you would like to contribute please let me know.

Please read if you are a squirrel and/or operate a moter veichel

Lately I have seen way to many squirrels run over on the road. Not just a few, but a ton! I counted 8 on 240, I was horrified. We need a better plan, a better way of co-existing with the squires, we need to stop running them over with our cars. And the squirrels need to do their part as well, that is why I am doing a how to for squirrels and for the operators of moter vehicles pass this along.


This part is for the squirrels......

We all need to do our part in road safety, even you squirrels. Yes you're cute and fuzzy and funny to watch but there is nothing funny about how you cross the street. So I have outlined some safety tips that should help ensure that you live another day or at least a few more hours.

1. This is the simplest rule but most often the most forgotten LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE YOU CROSS. I see squirrels just running all willy nilly into the street and then trying to abort the mission when cars are racing towards them bring me to #2

2. Once you have made the decision to cross, stick with it and follow Thu until completion. After you have looked both ways and seen that the coast is clear just go for it. Thus avoiding all the zig zaging all over the place and we all know what zig zaging leads to.

3. Don't try to cross to a place that is uncrossable. Meaning if you see that on I-240 w there is a huge concrete divider that is 4 feet high and you have to run and then leap on to it to avoid the rush hour traffic then be smart and don't do it.

4. Most importantly use your tiny head. Being cute can get you only so far in this world. I have done 2 squirrel rescue missions because of flippant road crossing antics. All accidents that could have been avoided. By the way I was not the one that injured the squires with my car I was the one that witnessed the crime and then intervened and took the squirrel with the broken leg to Dr. Pablo's office.


This is for the operators of motor vehicle

1. Stop being so selfish and thinking that animals have no business in the road. We have invaded their would and put are cars and roads and bulls*#@t in their home and then we run
them over.

2. Pay attention when you see an animal lingering on the side of the road, squires are impulsive and make rash choices they are known for racing out, its your job to notice and slow down.

3. If you do hit a squirrel with your car then you need to get out and check to see if you need to take him/her to the vet. Don't be so cheep, its your fault for being a part of the most greedy species of animals on the planet, totally encroaching on all other animals territory and then coping an attitude when inconvenienced by other beings.

4. Be nice and toss nuts out your car window in heavily populated squirrel areas. its the least you can do.

Why did'nt someone tell me....

There's this website chronicbabe.com. The whole thing is a resource for women with chronic illness. I must say I think they are pretty cool, the editor and founder Jenni has done some kick ass reviews of our product and for that we will love her always.
So this morning I go on to her site just to check it out and I was shocked to see that there was a contest, a blogging contest, and I was not included!!!!!!!!!!
The contest was the thinkers blog, something about thinking, I'm not sure if it was blogs that make you think or people who are serious thinkers writing blogs. Either way I think I fall into both categories and should have been nominated and then won!

You might be saying, whoa Ann, slow your roll there are a lot of good blogs out there what makes you so special? Well, I don't know. All I know is that I laugh a lot when I write this blog and then when I re-read it I think its pretty funny AND I also cover some intense topics that make people think too. Such as, animal rights and incontinence and vegetarianism and a lot of very helpful how to pieces I also deal with family and marital issues and conflict resolution. That is just a few the list goes on and on and I have to make some sales calls so I can't write the whole thing OK!

Perhaps I need to make up an award and then award it to myself. This is inspiring me. I am officially inspired.

Stay tuned for my awards ceremony where I will be presenting myself with a VERY prestigious award!