Obsession confessions

Obsessions are a part of everyone's life. Right? OK, obsessions are a part of my life.

It's fun to look back on some of my old obsessions and laugh about how silly they are. For example, several years ago I was at work walking down the hall. I see a fellow colleague and he waves. In an attempt for him to see my reciprocated wave(because I was far away) I shot my hand in the air and keep it there as I walked. Then I had a horrible thought . What if he thought I was doing a Nazi salute and he thought I was a neo-Nazi. The thought plagued me all day and after work I stopped by my mother's house to show her the wave and see what she thought. My mother has years of experience with my neurotic questions and so she is not freaked out by me asking her if my wave looks like a Nazi salute. To some it would be a bizarre question and cause for alarm, but for my mom it's the norm. Just as some women when they were young perhaps turned to their mothers and asked about boys or bras, I asked my mother if she thought I had AIDS. The conversation would go something like this.

"Mom, do you think I have AIDS?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"But how do you know?"
"I guess I don't know. Do you think you've done something to catch it?"
(I have a few moments of internal chaos)
"Well, I had an AIDS test and it said I didn't have it."
"Then you don't have it."
"Yes, but it can hide out in your body for a long time."
"Oh Ann, really, just stop you don't have AIDS"
"If I do, then I guess I will have to just tour around going to high schools doing lectures and stuff maybe right a book about it. I can buy a camper."
"That sounds nice. Looks like you have a good plan."
"So are you saying you think I have AIDS?"

Anyway I reviewed the wave with my mother and asked her what it looked like to her. She thought it looked like I was trying to hail a cab or catch the bus. She definitely didn't think it looked like I was giving a Nazi salute. The conversation went like this.

"OK. what does this look like." (I replicated the wave)
"Um, like your hailing a cab."
"Do you think it looks like a Nazi salute?"
"No."
"Are you sure because I waved like that to someone at work and now I'm worried that he thinks I'm a Nazi."
"Oh Ann, really! I'm sure no one who knows you would think that."
"So are you saying a person who doesn't know me might think that I was giving a Nazi salute if they saw that wave?"
"That's enough."
"OK. Do you think I have AIDS?"

Now that I think about it I think my mother should get some sort of award.

I think I will give her the Crispy Cat award. The world's first organic Award. Not to mention the only award that is vegan, kosher and gluten-free. ( They made me write that)