Tips on being trendy and cool.

I was recently informed that all the popular blogs right now are the ones that do tips and lists.
Now, I have done some *how to* pieces, but the cool thing to blog about is "being green" or "simplifying". I guess that's what all the cool kids are doing, so if I want to sit with them at lunch, I better do one too.

I think the first of my new and improved cool and trendy pieces will be tips on simplifying your life.

There are many ways that your life can be cluttered. Clutter can be possessions or committments or even people. The following are tips on how to make more room in your life for the things that really matter. This guide will help you weed out all the unnecessary and cumbersome people, places and things in your life. Enjoy!

Tip#1 First decide what your priorities are and how you would really like to be spending your time and with whom. Figure out where you really want your money to go; how you really want to spend it.

Tip#2 If your goal is to spend more time with loved ones then you should quit your job and insist that those you love quit theirs as well. If you want more time with your kids yank them out of school. If you want more time with your spouse and less time with your kids, send your kids to boarding school.

Tip#3 Eat locally by showing up to friends' houses around dinner time. This is a great way to save money on groceries and also incorporate spending time with loved ones.

Tip#4 Stop paying all bills. This should not be hard after you quit your job. Don't panic and use your savings on your mortgage or other bills. That money is for you, not the man. Remember, this is all about priorities. The mortgage company has tons of other unenlightened saps sending in there payment every month. They don't need yours. Not to mention it takes months to foreclose on a house and even longer to evict someone. As far as utilities go, you have at least 2 months before they shut off your power.

Tip#5 Cars are a huge burden both financially and environmentally. Not to mention the emotional energy that people invest in them. It might be hard to part with your car, so drive it to a part of town that is notorious for being infested with crack heads and leave the car running and doors unlocked while you run an errand. It's a win-win situation. You no longer have to deal with a car and you've helped the needy. You're already becoming a better person.

Tip#6 Get rid of your cell phone. Use pay phones and only make collect calls. If this upsets people just explain to them that you're trying to simplify your life. If they can't get on board and support you then that is a clear indicator that you don't need them cluttering up your life anyway.

Tip#7 Instead of buying clothes or new things ask friends if you can "borrow" something and then just neglect to return it. When they ask for it back tell them that the rule is if you don't use something for 1 year then you should give it away. This is logic that can't be argued.

Tip#8 Start shopping from lost and found boxes. It's best to go where people with style frequent.
Just walk in and say you think you may have left your (fill in item you wish to procure) and ask to be directed to the lost and found. Don't be too specific. For example, don't say you lost your diamond tennis bracelet that your 3rd husband gave you on a trip to Bermuda. Then you won't be able to snag other stuff if there isn't a diamond tennis bracelet in the lost and found.
Be very vague. For example, you could say you may have left your hoodie or your sunglasses or your diabetes testing supplies.

Good luck, I know you can do it!!!