Since this is technically the Tree Huggin' Treats' blog I think once in a while it would be appropriate to take a break from my stories and bring you some Crispy Cat info.
So you might be like oh that sucks I was looking forward to wetting my pants again but I think it would be a travesty not to school you in all the ways a Crispy Cat can be utilized in your daily life. I mean really, I know learning is out this season but it must be done.
How to use Crispy Cats to get yourself out of a pickle.
It's pretty basic. If someone is mad at you just hand them a Crispy Cat that you wrote *I'm sorry* on the back of. Works like a charm.
If a cop pulls you over, don't panic. Just hand him a Crispy Cat and wink instead of handing him your license and registration. This works about 2% of the time, so be prepared to hit the gas and book out of there Dukes-of-Hazard style.
If you are rude in Hebrew school or talk during temple, simply give your Rabbi a few Crispy Cats after your Mom stops yelling at you. Crispy Cats are kosher, making them the perfect gift for your favorite Rabbi. If you were really bad then you may have to recite something from the Torah. That's your call.
Let's say you accidentally slip and mention how much you love J-lo's new album in front of someone from P.E.T.A. Don't wait until you're drenched in paint. Just hand them a totally vegan Crispy Cat. Seriously, J-Lo needs to stop with all the fur. If you love her new album, you need paint thrown on you. You've got problems.
Let's say you are going on a date and the person you are going out with has Celiac's Disease. Why not make a bouquet out of Crispy Cats to give her? Flowers are expensive and then they die and rot, but Crispy Cats are totally yummy and won't rot at all! Not to mention they say hey I'm a good listener and I care about your health. Aren't I sensitive?
I hope those pointers are helpful. Try to study and memorize them. I won't be around to help you out so you better hop to it.
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